While some students at BCC don't smoke and can tolerate the students that do, there are others who are not fond of second hand smoke. Some of these nonsmokers are neutral and don't mind when there are a few people with cigarettes outside of the buildings. They see it as minding their own business. Other nonsmokers are upset while walking by because of health issues or they just don't like the smell.
It is said by some of the smoking students that smoking is their own business and they should be able to go outside for a smoke if they want to. Other students say that they don't mind the new policy considering that they understand the health risks there are to the second hand smokers.
This policy will go into effect on the first of June and students will then either have to stop smoking during class hours, or take it to the street!
Postwrite
ReplyDeleteHow do I like the article so far?
I hate it. It doesn’t have much information. I still plan on interviewing students and staff regarding the issue, so hopefully that helps.
What do I need to work on?
I think I need to work on making a stronger point. How will it be stopped? Who will enforce this policy? I also think that I could definitely get more sources.
Questions I have for the reader.
In what areas can I make my point stronger?
What is the assignment asked of Kendra?
ReplyDeleteIn this assignment, Kendra is asked to write a News article involving Bristol Community College. The article should be 350-500 words in length. The article must be newsworthy and current. Kendra is asked to interview a person or persons that can contribute useful information to the story and identify the name and if possible age of the person she interviews. The article should be objective balanced and unbiased. The story should also have a catchy headline and a strong opening. Kendra should use the pyramid system described in the book, starting with the big picture and then moving on to the essential story. Kendra should also find an angle to her story to keep it new and fresh.
Has my partner met the expectations of the assignment?
Kendra has a good opening; she summarizes the big picture well. The entire first paragraph organizes the most important information of the story.
What area needs work?
Although the first paragraph does a nice job of telling the reader what the article is about in my opinion the word “tolerated” seems biased from the start. Although I don’t think this was you’re intention maybe “allowed” would be a better choice.
I also would recommend that you try to avoid generalizing smokers and non-smokers with the words “some students” and “they” seen in the second paragraph “While some…second hand smoke” and in the third “Other students say they…second hand smokers. I think using theses generalizations makes the story impersonal to the reader.
A good way to avoid these generalizations is to interview some people on the topic. I know you said you feel uncomfortable doing this but you would be surprised how honored people are to give you there opinions. You seem like confident young women to me so do not worry about it, you can do it.
Another possible problem I see is that I cannot find the angle in the story. People already know there will be a smoking ban. Interviewing students and faculty is a good way of finding an angle. You will be surprised at the responses people give you. Many times they will give you an angle during the interview.
Questions I have for Kendra.
I really don’t have any questions. I would just tell you to be confident, and go out there and talk to people about the subject you are writing about.