Kendra Braga
March 29, 2010
Dr. Howard Tinberg
English 11
“Parking Proposal: First Draft”
Finding a descent parking spot in a lot can be an easy task, but more often than not, a good parking spot is hard to find; especially on a college campus. At Bristol Community College, parking can become a challenge. There are parking spots for “the teacher of the month” that are often empty while there are people scrounging around for a parking spot; there are also often vacant spaces where the students with parking permits should park. There are parking spaces along Elsbree Street which are deceiving; there are many signs which clarify that “there should be no parking in between signs,” however there are no specifications as to which signs. There are many parking lots at BCC, but there are also many students.
After hearing complaints from many students, the conclusion made is that the way to solve a problem like this is simply building another parking lot. Many students have complained about not being able to find a parking lot; not even in the most distant lots! This may sound like a fix easier said than done, but it will be one that will better the school.
As the college grows, the more students there are trafficking in and out of BCC. Lots 3 and 4 can be expanded towards the college, giving students more room to park. Students who actually have a parking permit will have more reserved spots to park their car, thus giving the students an incentive to buying a parking permit as well.
The cost of a project like this one would vary between $40,000- $60,000 for a lot with 100-150 parking spaces; depending on the company that builds it. This would be a good investment because students will be spending less time looking for a parking space, and they will have more time to get to their class without being late.
In this assignment Kendra was asked to write a proposal addressing a problem at the school or in her community. The assignment should be around 700 words in length. The paper should be addressed to a specific audience. The proposal must include an important problem, facts that back up the problem, a possible solution and a cost analysis of the solution.
ReplyDeleteKendra has addressed a problem that is important to her and many other students at BCC. I like the style she uses in the first sentence. However, I do not think it addresses the problem as well as it could, “Finding a decent…especially on a college campus”. Is the problem that students cannot find a “good” parking spot or “find one at all”? I also think the first paragraph could be separated into two. The problem statement should be its own paragraph and then the factual information should come in the second maybe. Kendra uses good facts to support her problem. She sites “teacher of the month” spaces being unused, difficulty in reading posted signs and “vacant spaces where students with parking permits should park”. Although, I appreciate and believe “”hearing complaints from many students”, I think the statement is a little generalized. Kendra clearly states a cost analysis of the problem seen in paragraph four where she writes “the cost of this project…100-150 parking spaces” but there is a large difference between “40,000 and 60,000” dollars. Perhaps a narrower gap between numbers should be used here? Kendra is so close in offering a valid solution to the problem as sited in paragraph three, “Students who actually have parking a permit…buying a parking permit as well. Maybe if all students were required to buy a parking permit for 10 dollars it would cover the cost analysis for building larger parking lots?
Kendra’s proposal addresses a problem here on campus. I think she needs to clarify the solution a little more. She offers good reasons why the problem should be solved but fails to mention how to solve it. After all, money is always the key issue.
Honestly, I would have never thought this to be a problem only a burden until I read her paper. I think that is what a proposal is supposed to do, address a problem that some people are unaware of. I think with a stronger little argument students and faculty alike would support the proposal.
1) How did you come up with the cost analysis for the proposal?
2) Do you find it difficult to get a parking spot?