The sights. The smells. The sounds. Cape Verde is a place that engages its visitors. This past summer, I visited Santiago, Cape Verde where travelers can see animals they normally wouldn't see at home and hear the sound of the ocean right outside of their window. While Cape Verde has beauty, it most definitely has poverty we don’t experience in America. I'll never forget the experience as we visited orphanages, and aided the less fortunate. I particularly remember a woman who had been severely burned. She was laying in bed when a candle in an open window sill was blown over on to her bed. The fire caught on her bed and burned her arm, chest, neck, and face. While this may seem like an easy fix in America, it’s a problem in Cape Verde because of their lack of medicine.
We couldn’t bear the sight of this and felt compelled to do something to help this woman. All we had was a small first aid kit which was meant for the mission’s team’s use. However, we put it to good use and gave it to her. She began to look better already with the Benadryl and bandages contained in the kit. At the sight of this, I realized that people need each other.
I believe people have the power to do great things. All though it may not be world renown, it could mean the world to one person. I believe that when people stretch out their hand to help another person in need, it begins to change the world one person at a time. I try to help as many people as I can because I know that life is fragile and I want to make a difference while I still can. I may not always have the chance to help someone like the woman in Cape Verde, but I believe that there are plenty of people in school; in the work place; in my neighborhood; in my family. All these people need someone in their lives to help them in one way or another, and I believe that I can be that person.
Reviewer’s Name: Tyler Thompson
ReplyDeleteDate: 2/09/10
Partners name and Title of paper: Kendra Braga
The assignment asked of Kendra:
The assignment asked of my partner was to write a 350-500 word essay on a personal belief of hers. The belief had to be formed during a personal experience. The essay asks her to convey the belief and give an example or examples on how the belief was formed. The piece is for radio so it must read naturally. It also must be written as though it was being spoken. The piece also requires it be written in the first person.
My partner has met the criteria for the assignment. Her piece includes a specific event which backs up her belief. She writes in her second paragraph “We couldn’t bare the sight of this and felt compelled to do something to help this woman. All we had was the first aid kit meant for the mission team’s use. However, we put it to good use and gave it to her. She began to look better already with the Benadryl and bandages contained in the kit. At the sight of this I realized people need each other”. She also writes in paragraph three “Although it may not be world renown, it could mean the world to one person”. The contention in her belief that “people have the power to do great things” is demonstrated here and it solidifies her belief of giving just a small amount can help someone greatly.
I was a little confused with the last part of the last paragraph where she writes “I may not always have the chance to help someone like the woman in Cape Verde but I believe that there are many people in school; in the work place; in my neighborhood; in my family. All these people need someone in there lives to help them in one way or another, and I believe that I can be that person”. I read this paragraph several times and I now understand what you meant. I am still not sure if I can relate this to the belief that “people have the power to do great things”.
An area that I feel needs some work is in the first paragraph. While the paragraph clearly states that there is beauty and ugliness in Santiago, Cape Verde. I can’t really feel either of them. I think it would help the reader quite a bit if you could describe the “sights, smells and sound” a little more. It would also help to convey the contrasts between the beauty and the poverty. Doing so would help the reader see, smell and hear what you did.
One question I had was I wasn’t so clear on what you’re belief was. Is it “people have the power to do great thing? Or if everyone did something for someone else no matter how big or small the world would be a better place? Or do these two beliefs go hand in hand?
The second question I had was, did you have this belief before you went to Cape Verde or maybe you already had this belief and it became more prominent when you saw how impoverished the people were? I so, it would be pretty cool to add that in the essay.