cover letter first draft

Kendra Braga

May 3, 2010

Dr. Howard Tinberg

English 11

Cover Letter for Final Portfolio

First Draft

The pieces I have chosen for my portfolio are: “Essay of Application,” “Parking Proposal,” and the “Article Annotation.” I have also included the first and second drafts of each with the comments that were posted on the blog.

For “Essay of Application” we had to write a formal response to a writing prompt that was either given in the text book on page 146, or given on a college website. The prompt had to be included in the paper so that readers would have a better understanding of the writer’s position. The essay was to be 350- 500 words in length and had to clearly convey the ideas of the applicant. The writer was to consider their purpose for writing the paper and to whom the paper is written for. They had to give evidence to support the writer’s position and also show that they understood the topic. The essay needed to clearly answer the prompt given to them so that the reader clearly understood the paper. The essay had to have some sort of organization to it while being persuasive and grabbing the reader’s attention.

I chose this piece because it was one that I feel passionate about seeing that going to India was an event that changed my life. I like it because it has good description elements in it can grab the reader’s attention. It is one of my longest pieces of writing, but while reading it I feel like it’s one of my shortest. I also like it because it shows that I am engaged with the topic. Usually when the writer is engaged with their topic, the reader can feel more acquainted with it as well. I think it appropriately answers the question of how an experience has changed my view on the topic.

The major changes from the rough drafts to this final piece were definitely trimming the paper down and making it more focused. In the first draft, it was a compare and contrast paper; in the second draft, it didn’t answer the question as properly as it should have In my final draft I cut out some of the unnecessary details and focused more on answering the question than telling the story. I told the story, but also related it to how my perception on homelessness and the poor has changed. I also feel that my third draft is clearer as to how I view America. My first draft sounded almost like I didn’t like America, which was not my intent, however I changed it to make it so that I wasn’t blaming America for anything, rather I was contrasting the two cultures.

In the assignment for the proposal, we were to identify an issue, locally or within the school, and find a solution for the problem. The topic should have been of some importance to the writer and the writer should have some evidence showing why it is an issue. The paper should have been 3 pages in length describing an issue and formulating a solution. There had to be an analysis of the costs and benefits of the change. There should be a clear thesis and a practical solution. The benefits should have been stated clearly in the paper and presented in a logically persuasive manner.

I chose my “Parking Proposal” because it had a clear problem stated in it. I included input from other students and faculty members so that I could provide some evidence that I’m not the only one who thinks it’s an issue, and everyone can benefit from one more parking lot. I have an analysis of costs and the benefits of my solution are stated clearly.

Major changes that I have made include providing more evidence to support the problem. I got input from students and faculty and included it in my final drafts. I made it clear that students often cannot find a parking spot at all unless they get there early in the morning or after three o’clock pm. I eliminated the college’s rapid growth because I couldn’t find any solid evidence to support that bit of information.

For the “Article Annotation” assignment students were to critically read a scholarly article and pick out any important information that would contribute to properly analyzing an article. The first line or two should contain the full bibliography for the article we read. There should be two paragraphs. The first should be a summary of the scholarly article, and the second should be a personal evaluation of the article describing what you thought about the article, not the subject (focus on the article.) This would include talking about the credibility of the author and article, what audience is the article speaking to, what is the purpose for the article, and what was the author’s bias? Also, the evaluation should include the extensiveness/ detail of the article, when it was published, and how credible the journal is.

I chose this piece because out of the 5, this was one of my better ones. I properly give a summary of the article and my evaluation focuses on the article rather than how I feel about the subject. I think that the evaluation is good and it is written well, showing that I have a good understanding of the article.

Major changes that I have made to my paper was making a stronger evaluation to show that I understood the article. I have not completed my final draft; however, for my final draft, I plan on including more about the author and talking about the article’s credibility.

For the final piece included in this portfolio, we had to pick a trend and describe how it has an effect on society. There should be solid evidence to show that this change has effected society over the past decade. There should be a clear thesis that identifies the trend. There should also be use of research, statistics, and facts to support the thesis. The paper should discuss the causes and effects of the trend and give personal opinion to the causes and effects. There should be at least 2 scholarly sources and may include interviews and other outside sources.

I chose my paper on “Drunk Driving Trend from 2000-2009” because it communicates the problem clearly to the reader. I use statistics and evidence to support the thesis. It also has the basic ideas down and is focused on the topic. It is a broad topic, but as the paper goes on, it narrows out.

This course has helped me become a more focused writer. I usually focus on the small details such as grammar and sentence structure, but this class has helped me focus on the big picture. It has also helped my become a more critical reader. I’m not a pro, but now I know what to look for when I’m reading so that my writing can be stronger.