Trend draft 2

Kendra Braga

Dr. Howard Tinberg

English 11

May 2, 2010

“Drunk Driving Fatalities from 2000-2009”

Second Draft

Whether it be returning home from a late night shift or just leaving a friend’s house in order to make curfew, there are many innocent drivers, young and old, on the road. Although no one ever expects to fall victim to a drunk driving fatality, it happens when they least expect it; and more often than not, those who are sober are usually the ones to feel it the most. Unfortunately, most drunk drivers disregard the safety of others as soon as they decide to start the engine of their motor vehicle. Drunk drivin

g is clearly an important issue seeing that it kills thousands of people each year. According to National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, drunk driving has steadily decreased over the past decade.

This is a photograph of a fatal car wreck which involved 4 young people. The driver and passenger were males and the other two were females. The driver picked two girls up at a party, however he himself was already intoxicated. While they were on the highway, the police reported that they were traveling at about one hundred and twenty miles per hour when they hit a semi-truck. The unbuckled driver died instantly and the girl behind him also died four day later. Fortunately the other two passengers survived (“Car Accident Attorneys”). There are thousands of stories like this one, and unfortunately many people disregard it as irrelevant without realizing that these crashes can have a fatal effect on not only themselves, but everyone else around them.

Although gender is not usually considered when people think of alcohol related crashes, studies show that women age nineteen to twenty four are more at risk of getting into an accident than men are ("More Young Women Killed...”). Up until the late 1990’s, these stories were heard more with male drivers, but once female drivers got more familiarized with the idea, they began to carry on those habits as well (“2000 Drunk Driving Statistics”). Researchers see an increase of women intoxicated drivers, but there was also an increase in teenage drunk drivers. In the early two thousands, there was an increase in driving under the influence; however, this number decreased by two thousand and nine (“2000 Drunk Driving Statistics”). This could have been because there were new laws coming into effect and awareness also grew, causing people to be more cautious about the issue.

An average of fifteen thousand people in America died each year due to alcohol related crashes. Each year the number varied between thirteen and seventeen thousand (Drunk Driving Statistics”). Fortunately people are raising awareness and more people are realizing that drunk driving not only involves risking one’s own life, but also the lives of everyone else around. Although the number has dropped since the year two thousand, there are still thousands of people dying from fatal car crashes. This number should continue to decrease as more laws are being enforced and people feel compelled to change.

Post write:

1) I feel that I have some of my thoughts and everything fits together, but I’m missing a big piece. For my third draft I plan on researching more and finding the missing link.

I need to get more research and finish putting the ideas together. I need to find more evidence to support my main idea in that the number has decreased.

Should I give actual statistics or should I just vaguely reference them?

Is the paper too broad? Should I narrow it down?

Sources Consulted

1) "Drunk Driving Statistics." Talking Bar Breathalyzer Helps Prevent Drunk Driving. Web. 03 May 2010. .

2) "More young women killed in alcohol-related car accidents: researchers call for gender-specific counter measures to drink-driving." Nursing Standard 24.30 (2010): 16. General OneFile. Web. 2 May 2010.

3) Tony. "DUI, DWI, OUI Driving Accidents, Accident Fatal, Death : Pictures and Photos." Car Accident, Auto Accidents, Accident, Car Crash, Lawyers, Attorneys, Wrecks, Articles,Traffic, News, Collisions, Crashed. Web. 03 May 2010.